don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
