i just identified you from a description of your pipe
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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