I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't deserve a penis
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
