OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
