we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
