i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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