You really coming over, don't trick.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
