Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
