Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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