whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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