can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Did I show you my penis last night?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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