I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
