Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
