i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
