I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize