Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
