I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
