nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize