DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
