found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
