Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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