butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
