i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
