Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I am naked and annoyed.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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