I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
