I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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