If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
