So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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