he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
