What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
