woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
