i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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