just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
