Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
