Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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