when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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