ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Boobs are out for the taking
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
