Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
