Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
