you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
