Need sex. Gaining weight.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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