Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
