Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
