I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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