Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
