I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
