When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
