God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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