My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize