Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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