so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
