please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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