so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
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