I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
