well you can't waste a boner
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
