he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
