oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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