i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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