I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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