Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
