We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
