i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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