I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
