The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Randomize
