I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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