I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize