i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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