I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I am available for nakedness
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize