I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
