Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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