Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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