By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The feeling are messing with the penis
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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