Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
