just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
